I transitioned into my 20’s, as I’m sure most people did. I had a beer in one hand and my closest friends surrounding me as I rambled on about the amazing decade I had ahead. I didn’t think twice as I planned the upcoming, pivotal moments in my life. Confident that once I brushed off the hangover the next morning, I would be a step closer to the life I had always dreamed of.

Needless to say, the hangover lasted longer then expected and was not followed by a call from my future husband or employer. In fact, my life was the same – if not worse.

I spent days convincing myself that things would change, despite having no desire to make that happen. My motivation was short lived and I resumed living the life I always had, as a lost and confused teenager. I went to the same bar on the weekends and complained I wasn’t meeting anyone new. I ran home after class to get in a pre dinner nap and complained I didn’t have the proper college experience. I crammed homework into spare moments and often turned down new possibilities to dedicate my day to a Breaking Bad marathon.

I convinced myself I was still experiencing societies proclaimed, best years of my life.

Here I am – aged twenty-three. My life has made minor steps forward. I have a job I took out of desperation, a condo with a shoebox of bills and countless maybe I’ll laugh about it later, stories.

The twenties force you to step back and evaluate where you are in comparison to where you want to be. I was never able to do this as I was never able to set goals. My mind was constantly changing meaning ideas were disposable and the most insignificant decisions proved challenging. This held me back from finding my can’t eat, can’t sleep, passion.

My childhood defined perfection. It was the white picket fence storyline. An upper middle class family living in the suburbs. I have the ideal family, holding much resemblance to one of a 90’s sitcom. They’re supportive and encouraging of every decision I make. I have life long friends who know me better then I know myself. They’ve picked me up from my lowest, stood by me through the hardest and dusted off my mistakes with a nonchalant shrug.

High school proved challenging as it turned me into an angry, self-conscious teen. It took my ability to be myself, as I desperately wanted to fit in. I was never happy, or unhappy. I was simply coexisting with minds like mine. I lost who I was. I lost the joy of running to my mom’s car after the final bell. I lost the fun in playing tag and the people I played it with. I lost the innocence of sober movie nights and most importantly, I lost myself.

Soon after, I found myself immersed in the world that is college. I resorted to an easy program, as I had no idea what I wanted to do. I stayed in a dorm and embarked on the pizza for breakfast, drugs are a religion, I did what last night, journey.

Graduation was a bittersweet dread. A black cloak hung on my body while a man I’d never met congratulated me and a woman with a chalkboard voice wished me all the best in the future. No one spoke about the hard times ahead. No one told me the all nighters don’t stop when the ten page essays do. No one told me I’d crave the school hallway, the sense of routine, the day old poutine gravy and no one told me I was going to search for acknowledgment. Someone to pat me on the back and say good job. Someone to return an assignment, my mistakes etched with red pen. Instead, they told me good luck.

245 thoughts on “S T O R Y

  1. I’ve been toying around with getting serious about blogging and had an idea along the same lines as you. I did a google search and your blog was the first I clicked on. I just have to say, I get you! So refreshing to know that others are in the same boat as me.

    1. That’s probably the greatest comment I’ve gotten. It took me awhile to realize others have to feel the same so blogging seemed like a worthy hobby. I hope you take up blogging, I’d love to see what you write!

  2. When you told me I could relate to your journey as well you weren’t kidding! I finally sat down and really read some of the things you have been saying and it is all too true! This thought that college and our 20s are “the best years of our life” puts so much pressure on us to “live it up” so to say, but is that really what it’s all about?
    Thank you for sharing! I look forward to reading more!

  3. I feel like every word in that spiel above is something I’ve said at one point or another in my life! I look forward to reading more posts from you – it’s great to know that I’m not alone as I go through “the 20s” [:

    1. I feel as though ‘twenty-somethings’ is almost an epademic. I’m amazed at how many people can relate but it makes the purpose of blogging all worth it. Thank you for reading, I hope you’ve enjoyed the rest!

  4. I followed your comment from my blog to yours and I am so happy I did. When people say “yeah, I get you, look at my blog”, most of the time I stumble upon something I cannot relate to, a ‘down-the-rabbit-hole’ feeling if you will. But your blog feels like I found the Polo to my Marco. Great job. Your writing is so honest and endearing I can’t wait to read more!

    1. Thank you so much! I can tell from reading people’s blogs pretty early on if I think they can relate to my story and content. I wouldn’t bore someone who would have no interest in it but thank you for taking a chance and reading! I hope you’ve enjoyed the rest of the blog.

  5. Wow, yup, this about sums up what I’m going through. The sad part is what they do tell us is all about enjoying the “best years of our lives” while not properly explaining why they are or should be the best. Very insightful! P.S. thanks for commenting on my blog :)

    1. Thank you! I absolutely agree. What is so great about these years? I suppose they could be talking about our new found independence/life but that’s more overwhelming then anything.

  6. I can relate completely to all of that. I am still in the phase of “where do I go, what do I do from here?” Thanks for putting what I feel into the words I can’t!

  7. In so many ways we would have been kindred spirits when I was 22. Thanks for writing so honestly. It’s good to see how much depth of thought others have at such a “young” age :) Just remember, age really is just a number. Seems like you are wise beyond your years.

  8. I haven’t hit my twenties yet, but I have made some great friends who have stuck with me through good and bad times. I guess the ordeal after college will come later for me, but for now, I’m just trying to enjoy the start of it now.
    And your family sounds so much like mine!

    I’m looking forward to reading more of your posts. :)
    Thanks for checking my blog out!

    1. To ones replying they haven’t hit this, I say just please don’t go spending the money that college pumps you up to think you’ll have once you graduate. To the few lucky ones, it does to let’s say out of 5 of my friends only 1 got a job out of college that happened to be related to her field of study! The rest of us a year or two. Some of us never!

      To original blogger, young and twenty, this is great!! They should teach a more real world mandatory class your senior year. I’m about to hit thirties, honestly can say I am happy to be leaving 20s, you finally learning how to let go, be yourself…but that’s what 20s are for. So I’m not saying don’t enjoy them-they honestly make you truly who you are! I look forward to reading more of your blogs, you write beautifully. One thing I wish I had learned in college!

      1. Thank you so much for taking the time to read and share your experience. Post grad is a challenge, it’d be nice if society could start working in our favour. I hope you read more from my blog and please feel free to share more of your perspectives!

  9. This is ridiculously on point with how I am feeling exactly at this moment right now. Thank you so much for sharing. I love what you said: “Needless to say, the hangover lasted longer then expected and was not followed by a call from my future husband or employer. In fact, my life was the same – if not worse. I spent my days convincing myself that things would change, despite having no desire to make them happen. My motivation was short lived and I resumed living the life I always had, as a lost and confused teenager.” That. Is. Me. Thank you for helping me realize that I am not alone in this. XO, Rachel

    1. Thank you so much for taking the time to comment! I could’ve never imaged how many people would be able to relate when I first wrote this but hopefully we’ll all be able to come out of these confusing times on top.

  10. Beautifully written! Our 20’s are a young and confusing time, no doubt about it. Seriously have had some of the exact same thoughts since finishing college. Thanks for checking out my blog! & can’t wait to read more of yours!

    1. Thank you for taking the time to check out my blog. It’s amazing how many people can relate to my story, I’m so glad I finally shared it. I look forward to reading more from you!

  11. <3 this was wonderful to read, and not in a HA we can share our moping of the twenties years, but just to see and connect that this happens to others so surely we can get through it. And then hunt down all those grown ups who hid the truth from us :) Thank you for sharing. xoxo

    1. I’ve found such comfort in finding others who share the same lost but determined perspective, it’s been a great experience. Thank you for reading and commenting :)

  12. I absolutely adore this blog. As a new “twenty-something” blogger, you have hit the nail on the head about what life is currently. I look forward to reading more!!

    1. It’s taken a long time to get here but I’m a little comforted by the outlook I’ve gained thus far. Looking forward to continuing this journey. Thank you so much for taking the time to read and comment :)

  13. As many before me have stated, I can totally relate and thank you for suggesting I take a look at your blog! There’s a something so comforting knowing that it’s really not just my friends and I feeling lost and stuck on the notion that these 10 years are supposed to be the best we will have. I look forward to reading more!

    1. It literally took me making this blog to realize I’m not alone in this (or my friends). It’s overwhelming to see how many people can relate but hopefully we can look back in ten years or so, having found our way. Thank you for taking the time to check out my blog!

  14. I am glad you found me and I found you! Your writing is just so great, and I feel like some of the posts really resonate. I look forward to reading even more from you and your thoughts on your journey.

    1. I’m so glad you’re able to find my posts relateable. I know how powerful it can be to find something that matches how you’re feeling. Thank you so much for taking the time to read my blog!

  15. I don’t know how many precede me in this thought, but I followed the comment you left on my sapling of a blog and I was blown away by where it lead me. I, just starting my twenties, already found you relatable, and was inspired by how raw and real this page was. I hope my blog can someday be half as good as yours!

    1. I’m so glad you took the time to check out my blog, thank you! I’ve found that people not yet in their twenties or even years past have found things to relate to so it’s great to hear that you have too. I’ve found blogging to be a lot of work, I put a lot of time into it but let me know if you ever have questions!

  16. I think I just breathed a huge sigh of relief in reading this. It is pretty much my life- so relatable! Well written and crafted in such a way that I couldn’t tear my eyes from this post until I was finished reading it. It really is nice to know I’m not alone. Keep up the great work, and I’m very much looking forward to your future posts.

    1. Thank you so much! It’s truly amazing to see how many people can relate to feelings that once made me feel so alone. I hope you’ve found more posts to relate to, feel free to share your opinion on any of them :)

  17. Stumbled across this- I feel the exact same way currently. Striving every day to feel purposeful, while not imploding from the slap of reality after graduation. I breathed a sigh of relief knowing I wasn’t the only one!

    1. It sounds so cliché to need ‘purpose’ but it’s amazing how much control that’s had over my life this past year especially. Glad you stumbled across the blog, hope you can find more to relate to! Thank you for reading and sharing :)

  18. As a fellow 20something and somewhat recent grad, I can definitely relate a lot to your situation. I really like the blog so far and I look forward to reading more!

  19. I can definitely relate to your experience. High school was my college “experience”‘. I have taken several jobs out of desperation to help pay the bills. I will say the Americorps organization was the bestwork I had ever done. Working through the organization taught me a lot about myself and life. If you’re ever in need of change, check it out. I believe they also have better opportunities for college graduates.

    1. Thank you! It’s always great to hear people can relate. I don’t know if that would be the right path for me but it’s great to hear that you found something to give you change and point you in the right direction. It sounds like we all have a place we’re meant to end up, it just takes awhile to get there.

  20. Sounds like the crisis I went through and finally made it out at 28. Broke down at 25 and 3 years later moved out, set some goals and slowly inching forward towards what??? Towards me and crafting a life that suits my nature. Life is a hell of a thing. All the best.

    1. I almost think it’s a requirement to have a ‘breakdown’ in our twenties to redirect us the way we’re meant to be. You’re not alone as I’ve found I’m not either. Thank you so much for sharing and I hope you continue to find your place in this world!

  21. Wow, that was very powerful. It definitely makes me step back and evaluate my life and my future after college. I can say without a doubt that while I may not be in your position, I understand what you’re going through. The future scares me to death, but it’s a relief knowing we aren’t alone in our fears.

    1. Thank you for taking the time to not only read, but comment! It’s amazing how many people can understand what I’m going through whether they’re younger then me or older. Hopefully you’ll keep blogging and I can one day read what your life has a post grad is like.

    1. Absolutely! I’ve written a post about how graduation is when we have so much to do, yet we live to believe we should already be done it. It’s a definite learning process. Thank you for commenting, hope you can relate to more :)

  22. “No one told me I’d crave the school hallway, the sense of routine, the day old routine gravy.”
    I will be sure to remember to let my kids know :)
    Love the insight, and the honesty is so refreshing here. Keep up the great work.-Loretta.

    1. Better late then never! I’m so glad you found it as well :) The twenties are such a crazy. yet rewarding time. I hope you’re excited. Keep in touch! I’d love to hear how you can relate to my posts.

  23. These comments are painful (also hope-filled) to read–so much loneliness among the twenties. You’ve found a wonderful audience. Maybe they found you, too! I relate deeply to loneliness and to the lack of safe people I could talk with when I was in my twenties. I needed people who wouldn’t try to change me, and wouldn’t trivialize what I felt or what I was going through.

    1. It’s painful yet bittersweet when you realize the chances of these twenty-something’s coming out on top! My struggles built a stronger character and I hope that’s what others can find here. I agree with your comment on the type of people you needed in your life. That’s very important. Thank you for sharing!

  24. I remember 23 well and the feelings that went with it. Such an ironic kick in the guts to realize you never enjoy the “best years of your life” until you look back with nostalgia. I’m 31 now and life has taken some interesting turns. I’m seeing the same happen for my friends. I wish I could go back and enjoy my twenties for what they were and the lack of serious responsibility. But of course that’s futile. Anyway, judging by what a talented writer you already are and how many people who feel you speak a voice they can recognize, I think it’s safe to say good things are in your future. Happy to have stumbled across your blog. Thanks for stopping by mine.

    1. I love hearing from people in their twenties, but it’s also extremely interesting to hear from people with the ability to look back with hindsight. I appreciate you sharing, and leaving such encouragement about my writing and future. It’s surprising that you consider the twenties a time of little responsibility because I see it to be opposite! Maybe that’s proof I’m expecting to much of myself and these years. Looking forward to reading more from you :)

      1. In my twenties, I was responsible for myself. Period. I had no mortgage, no children, a job that I knew I could do without too much stress. Now I have a daughter with special needs, and no partner! I have friends whose health is suddenly throwing up problems and others whose parents have died suddenly. In retrospect my twenties seemed like a golden age! But I know when you are in it, it’s different. I remember when I was about your age being stressed that I hadn’t written a book yet. I thought by the time I was 30 I would have at least done that. I’m 31, no book. But one potentially in the pipeline. I guess there’s a balance between putting pressure on yourself, but also letting things happen? But don’t take advice from me, I’m no life guru!

  25. I am just getting into blogging and just from reading your back story and the comments left by others, it is reassuring that so many people are dealing with the same kind of stuff as me. In the long run we will all probably look back at our twenties and rave about how great it was, but right now, boy is it scary! I’m glad I found your blog and I look forward to reading more!

    1. Blogging’s a great thing to take on! What made you decide to begin? I’m almost positive we’ll look back and laugh at our twenties, just like we do our teen years, yet it’s so hard to believe that now! Thank you for sharing :) I hope to hear your opinions on future posts.

      1. I took on blogging partly as something to throw myself in to and commit to. At the moment I felt I needed something to dedicate my time to, and it is a fun release. Gives me a space to harp on about how great my favourite book is! And yeah definitely, I will be keeping up with your blog.

  26. I feel almost exactly the same way, save I’ve hit the crisis a few years earlier. Every year of high school would go by, exclusion and the suffocating cultural norms turning me even more bitter towards the system. And yet with each new hardship, I’d look back on my previous “glory days” with nostalgia, blowing up those dreary days into paradise compared to my current lot. College has not brought liberation, but merely the same doll drums I fought four years to escape. All that I have to show for “the best days of our lives” is a mix of cynicism and cultural apathy. Why fight when it’s just easier to accept? I suppose there’s nothing for it but to pick ourselves up and find a cause worth fighting for, worth breaking the bonds that are norms.

    1. I love this! So relatable and so well put. I appreciate you sharing :) Especially about being nostalgic for something you once considered to be, simply survivable. I hope to hear your unique opinions on future posts.

  27. Well, youngandtwenty, it’s been many years since I’ve been where you are now, so just let me say, it does get better from here. It sounds like you’ve already made progress. Writing it all down in a blog like this will also help you as you see that others have had similar experiences and feelings. I’m looking forward to reading more.

    1. I appreciate you taking the time to not only checkout my blog, but include your perspective and insight. It’s encouraging to hear that things truly do get better. I look forward to hearing from you again!

  28. I can’t relate to everything. We all have different experiences at different ages…but the feeling of being lost at sea is something I have felt from time to time.

    1. Absolutely. Thank you for taking the time to read regardless :) I believe we can all feel lost at sea and although I’m surprised my blog can be related to by so many people, it’s amazing.

  29. Good job. We always need acknowledgement. I acknowledge your achievement in writing this blog, in putting your words down and sharing them. Thank you. Life after school can be hard, but it is rewarding. Remember, too, you could always go into academia. :-)

  30. Wonderful. I’m 26 and a half now. I love your blog. Yesterday I moved back in with my dad after 3.5 years in the Bay Area after graduating college. Life is a bitch dude. I’ve learned a lot. I’m happy to know that there’s others out there struggling like me.

    1. Thank you! Life truly is a bitch but it’s amazing to hear that you’ve learned from it. I hope my blog can help in the slightest, I hope things look up and I also hope to hear your thoughts on future posts :)

  31. I hope blogging has helped you find some validation that you’re on the right path. I love your writing. Contact me if you ever want to chat — I’m 22, just graduated myself but unlike you, I couldn’t wait to get out of school.

    1. It has absolutely helped! I hope you can say the same about your blog. Thank you for taking the time to read my writing. Perhaps we will be in touch in the near future. I’d be interested in hearing your story.

  32. As I watch my three daughters (all near your age) grasp and define who they are, I applaud you for taking the bull by the horns. Adult life is not easy, but it is challenging surrounded by bits of confusion, struggle, a bit of elation and many days of hum-drum. It ain’t like the movies :) Kudos to you as you carve your path with pen and personality.

    1. Thank you so much! I can only imagine how difficult it can be for a parent to watch their child struggle but it must also be rewarding to see who they become. I hope you’ll stick around. I’d love to hear from you on future posts :)

  33. I nominated you for the ‘onelovelyblogaward!” Check it out her if you’re interested in accepting-http://wisewoman2.wordpress.com/2014/11/03/authentic-woman-blog-nomination/

  34. I am so grateful you liked one of my posts and I was able to stumble upon your blog. I am on the brink of college graduation and am perpetually terrified. I can already tell your blog is going to be my new guilty pleasure and sign of reassurance. Can’t wait to see and read more.

    XO, EE

    1. I’m so glad you were able to stumble upon my blog! Be sure to keep up with your own writing. I hope it can give you the same type of relief it gives me. Thank you for taking the time to comment. I hope to hear from you more

      P.S. if you would like to write a guest post for me – please email me!

  35. You’re the same age as my daughter. In just a few more years you will actually look back on these years as part of your “childhood”. :) It’s funny how life sneaks up on us like that. You are a very thoughtful young woman and I love that you are using a blog to express how you are feeling and thinking and processing your world. You are correct, your 20’s are very important and transformative. But, try not to worry too much. Enjoy each moment of life. Embrace the good times, and consider all of the difficult times as important learning experiences. You have so much life and living ahead. How glorious! If I could talk to my 20 year old self, I would want to remind her just how lucky she was to be free to make her own decisions and to be able to focus completely on herself. I became a mom at 23, so I didn’t get too many “me” years.

    1. Thank you so much for sharing your perspective! It’s always interesting to hear from people not only in their twenties, but those who have the ability to look back in hindsight. I’ve been told these are the ‘selfish’ years so I’m more or less focusing on me. Again – I hope to hear from you on future posts :)

  36. ditto to @sweetsavorystyle. I just finished undergrad this year and honestly, nobody tells you or even prepares you in the slightest for how rough life really is. I can see that your posts will be something that I empathize with. I want to say just continue moving forward but I know it’s far easier said than done. Looking forward to more of your posts!

    1. Absolutely! They tell how hard the teen years are but no one really speaks of the twenties. I’m glad you came across my blog. Thank you for taking the time to read and comment. I hope to hear from you again.

  37. Well if this isn’t the most relatable blog post I’ve ever read. I am in nearly the same boat; 24, just graduated last December. It really is incredible how different our twenties are compared to what we expected them to be. I look forward to following your posts. :)

    1. I’m so glad you can relate! The twenties have been a surprise to say the least, but they’re getting better and better. I hope you feel the same. I hope to hear from you on future posts :)

  38. Being in my twenties, I understand this all too well. We’re generation where college degrees don’t equate employment. Graduating in a desert of careers just makes us stronger, more creative. We have to make our own jobs, think outside the box and keeping the hope alive.

    1. That’s a perfect description as life as a post grad! I spent many months struggling to accept that but it’s amazing the changes that will come to your life when you stop living according to society. Thank you for taking the time to read and comment :)

    2. I’m 32. I think I spent a great deal of twenties doing things that I thought would matter. I served in the military in a good career field (essentially what is IT), I got out, went to major state university, I’ve been a research assistant, and just done a lot of important an meaningful things during that time.

      Once I graduated, the world decided that my talent and skills were worth $10 – $12/hr and that I would accept that because I was desperate for just enough money to live right on the line between poverty and being homeless.

      As time went by, I just grew more and more angry and bitter. I did everything I was supposed to and it didn’t mean shit. I dealt with these feelings of inadequacy, anger, humiliation, and degradation with much drinking and poly-substance drug abuse.

      After some time of keeping my head down and allowing the world to beat me down, I said you know what, F this: I’ve served in military, I have a degree from a reputable university, and my math and verbal skills are pretty sharp. I’m a smart guy with a lot of talent and drive and I’m just going break away from all this noise and pave my own way.

  39. In high school, they get us all ready for college. In college, we are supposed to prepare for life. And then when real life happens? Instead of us always focusing on what is next, I think we need to focus on how whatever is next will be affected by what we are doing right now. I am reading this book called “Keep Your Love On” by a guy named Danny Silk. A quote of his really popped out to me. He writes, “I can respond to today and create my tomorrows.”
    Who you are right now does have to be who you are tomorrow. BUT, who you are today can choose who you are tomorrow.
    I’m 22 and still have a lot to live. But I can’t live if I am not living where I’m at. How else are we to take another step without using support of the present step to elevate us to the next one?

    1. Thank you so much for taking the time so share that! I would love to checkout that book. I love books with positive meanings and especially quotes such as that. I truly believe the school system is a flawed way to help us prepare for our future but since I don’t see that changing; we’ll have to learn the hard way. Thank you again for sharing, I hope you keep on the right path and I hope to hear from you again.

  40. Your blog is wonderful and I think you will be very thankful that you wrote it someday. Honestly, I think there will be a lot of other people that will be glad you wrote it. You’re right, no one talks about this stuff. They make it sound like when you graduate from college that your life is just going to fall into place. I’m 27 and I’ve worked REALLY hard to get where I am right now. You can do this. Keep trying to get that perfect job even if you don’t think you’re qualified (people appreciate persistence), use the criticism that people give you as a lesson, keep your head up and please continue to write. If I were a professor in college I would direct every one of my students to your blog.

  41. I’m a fifty-year-old here to agree with you and to tell you that the twenties are really, really tough. The good news? You’ll survive them. And then you’ll be thirty, and I promise you, life will get easier, if of no other reason than that you will have figured out a few things that you haven’t yet figured out. What I wish someone had told me when I was your age? Don’t compromise your principles — not in your work life, not in who you choose as your friends, not in your love life, not in anything you do — and always always listen to your gut. (Somehow, from your blog, I get the feeling you’re already doing these things.) And also: enjoy being young and single. Don’t waste it wishing for Mr. Right to come along and marry. If you want to get married, you will, so enjoy being single. Neither being married nor being single is a perfect state. They both have their huge pluses and their huge minuses (like almost everything else in life).

    1. Thank you! I appreciate you not only taking the time to read about the struggles of someone so ‘young’ but commenting on your own reflections! “You’ll survive them” is probably the biggest truth to remember. I’m constantly in the mindset of growing up and fulfilling society’s, 9-5, wife and mother, cooking in the kitchen lifestyle but it’s never been for me. Again, thank you so much for sharing. I hope to hear from you again.

  42. You hit the nail on the head here! I struggled right through my 20s, and although I’m still in them (I’m 27) I’ve come to the realisation that it’s the 20s, not the teenage years, that are the hardest days of our lives. You’re totally right, noone tells us how hard it is to just live life without school or college providing a structure. Those people who have their dream job aged 21 seem to me figments of imagination, sometime made up by one or two successful people who then make everyone else feel like a failure. Great intro to your blog!

    1. I love hearing from people who can look back on my situation with their own hindsight. So, I appreciate you sharing. The twenties seem to be harder then our teen years because we’re torn between (as my name suggests) being a young teenager or being a mature twenty-year old.

      “Those people who have their dream job aged 21 seem to me figments of imagination, sometime made up by one or two successful people who then make everyone else feel like a failure.”

      I love this! I haven’t read this much truth in awhile.

  43. I don’t know if I’m just emotional today, but this made me tear up. I feel like this is exactly what I am going through right now,..sometimes it’s overwhelming to read your own thoughts written by someone else so precisely.

    1. I’m guilty of having a few emotional days where anything can set me off, but thank you so much for sharing that! It’s beyond any other compliment to hear that my writing can move someone so much. I find a lot of peace when I read something so relatable, I hope you can find the same!

  44. I’m not sure what to make of this post beyond seeing it as a fascinating glimpse into your twenties. In many ways I can’t relate but in some ways I can. If interested, you can get an idea of some of the turmoil I experienced when I was about your age (I just turned 44) in this photo essay:


    I won’t be offended if you edit out the link.

    What I experienced was not the result of being uninformed or making stupid choices. I was well advised beforehand that what happened could happen, and I actually tried my best and still wound up with the biggest setback of my life to date. Fortunately, I did get through it all and I am far from that episode in my life with the exception of carrying the memory of it with me as a constant reminder to be proud of what I have been through and accomplished.

    I don’t know where you’re heading but I want you to stay strong and focused.

    1. I appreciate you taking the time to comment as well as share something that’s personal to you. I wouldn’t dare edit out the link. You sound as though your experiences have left you with a lot of your own wisdom and you seem to be a stronger person as a result. I look forward to connecting with you again on future posts.

  45. Great blog from a great writer. Although I’m way past 20s I can relate to almost everything you said, except by age 23 I had 3 1/2 kids. Ahhh, the generational paradox. And, if I may, every decade has high-lights as well as low-lights. There’s no escaping the University of Earth’s lessons of personal progress. As I read your blog about your family I thought,”What a fortunate young girl.” You had support, you had back-up people. So many do not have that luxury. Think of being a confused teen without anyone’s support. My support came from friends and a few teachers. Zilch family support. I consider myself blessed. I hope you have books in the works.

    1. Thank you so much! Your experience sounds completely incomparable to mine and yet it seems that we will come out with similar lessons and hopefully a strong outlook on life. I had (and have) amazing support from my family and friends and that is something I will never take for granted. I appreciate you taking the time to not only read my post but comment :)

  46. I came to your page after you liked my first post. It’s great to see that there are like-minded people out there that are also blogging about similar things. I’ve just barely started my twenties and it’s taken me this past year off university to realise that I need to get out there in the world more frequently and that it’s up to me to change things if I find myself unsatisified or unhappy. And thank you for viewing my post. :)

    1. I’m so glad you in turn, decided to visit my page as well! It sounds like your years off University really helped you with a sense of self-discovery. I hope you continue on that path! I hope to read more of your work in the near future.

      1. Yea I think I really needed it, I started university straight after high school and a lot of things happened during my first couple of years of uni. I needed time to collect myself and reflect and discover more about myself. I definitely feel like I’m going in the right direction and starting my blog feels right somehow. And I hope to see more from you as well, your posts are very eloquent and enlightening.

  47. I really relate to your story and it reminds me of my own! I’m 24 now and I just finally feel in the last couple of years that I’ve found my purpose but I really struggled after highschool and until I was around 22 to figure out what I was supposed to do with my life. The best thing I ever did was move to another country and just start my life totally over! Looking forward to following your blog <3


    1. If you don’t mind me asking, what country did you move to? That’s inspiring in many ways although I’ve always thought that starting fresh for me would be a horrible idea. I appreciate you sharing your story and I hope to read more of it on your own blog :)

  48. I’ve just entered the world of being a graduate at the age of 26 and have only just realised how much I miss uni. I’m without money but already thinking about doing a master’s degree. As a person with a degree in creative writing I feel I should be writing for a blog or newspaper and getting paid for it, but alas, I’m not.

    And now I’m rambling.

    1. I appreciate you taking the time to share your story as it really seems to relate to my situation. It’s hard enough to be a post-grad in this economy but a post-grad with intention to pursue a creative career, an even harder journey. I hope you can find something to do in life that gives you fulfillment!

  49. Love the idea of this blog and look forward to reading more. I never would have imagined after counting down the days to graduation that now I look back and yearn for that time!

    1. I never realized how much I took advantage of my school years and it doesn’t seem to be something we can learn until we go through it ourselves. Thank you for taking the time to read and comment. I hope to hear from you on future posts!

  50. You are exactly where you need to be … A little lost. Being lost at 20 something beats being lost at 40 something, and there are a ton of people out here today like that. Find your passion and follow it, wherever it leads you. Whatever your faith tradition is, always be open to it. I believe sometimes God allows you to be lost for a while – maybe requires it – to get you where you need to be. Don’t be afraid to rely on your parents if that’s available. Life ain’t like the sitcoms. Finally third, as one who has made his living as a writer and editor. I can tell you, you are a talented writer. Keep your blog going.

    1. I agree. I’m pretty fortunate to be lost at the age I am and thank you for sharing your great perspective. Life isn’t a TV show – it’s a hard lesson to learn. I will absolutely keep up my blogging, thank you so much for the support!

  51. I just happened to be updating and renovating my blog when I came across yours in my notifications and I am absolutely grateful. This blog is amazing. I am 18 years old and I already feel like this, but I’m glad I’m not alone. This blog is something I’ll definitely share with everyone I know because it is so good and relevant. I can totally relate and I love how you are able to write so charmingly. I look forward to reading a lot more.

    1. I’m so glad you were able to come across my page. It’s amazing to hear how much you can relate to my writing and thoughts. You sound like you’ve found a lot of self-awareness at such a young age so I hope your twenties will prove to be successful. I look forward to hearing from you on future posts!

  52. Love your blog! I recently graduated too and am trying my hardest to transition into the “real world” and a career…a lot harder than it seems. Nice to know I’m not the only one trying to figure it out! :)

    1. Thank you! I never realized this overwhelming feeling of stress was common for all (or majority) or post grads. I appreciate you visiting my blog. I hope I’ll hear from you on future posts :)

  53. I really loved reading this. It is so true, but it’s like a dirtily kept secret by the older generations, your twenties are tough. Really tough. But you wrote about it so beautifully. I will definitely be following.

    1. I’m glad you took the time to read my work. You’re right – it is like a dirty secret. One that you’ll never be let in on until you experience it for yourself. Thank you for sharing :)

  54. I enjoyed reading your story about growing up in these times. I have grandkids your age facing that big old world and hoping for the best themselves. I wish you all the best on your journey into the future, knowing you will find yourself eventually and be all the stronger for the struggles you are facing now in your efforts to get there. As for me? It took 50 years to learn to stand on my own two legs, and by then MS had almost crippled those legs. It hasn’t crippled my spirit though, and I’m sure nothing will cripple yours either.

    As for it being a dirty secret we older folks keep? I’m a product of the ’60’s and I thought I would never pass the age of 30, that death would be better than growing old, yet here I am at 70+ still enjoying life and loving every moment, even though I will never understand a bit of it. Chin up kid, you’ll make it. Keep blogging. You tell a good story.

  55. Hi, just read this into page and felt such a kinship with your experience. It’s funny isn’t it. The moment of realisation that you may actually not be all that great? That your dreams of success whatever success may be, are not actually going to be handed to you? That in fact they’re super hard to get? I think you hit the nail on the head, when you spoke about goals. We need goals to achieve. We need direction. We need plans. However even with all that (as a self-confessed over planner) we can still look back and feel somewhat insignificant. I think blogging is a great way of documenting that you actually have achieved quite a bit (it can be so hard to reflect on the good things we’ve done sometimes and the awesome experiences that went along with our achievements) and also to hold us accountable to keep striving, to keep living this precious life to the full! Really enjoyed this read, keep it up! Take care, Kazza

    1. Thank you so much for taking the time to visit my blog and leave such an inspiring comment. It means a lot to find others who are willing to open up about similar situations. So well written – keep up the blogging. I hope to hear more from your journey :)

  56. You cant fool us, we can see right through your angel wings :)

    the ability, courage and determination to put to paper the things you go through and how life feels like its a thing few people have.

    You’re going to go far having that mindset, and by going far I’m not necessarily saying you’re going to be super rich and famous, but going far in discovering your true Self and living It to the fullest with a and supremely warm heart..

    Be well, blessed child :)

    1. Thank you so much for leaving such a kind comment! I hope the fact that I’ll go far with my ‘mindset’ not my ‘money’ will workout for the best. I appreciate you taking the time to read my work :)

  57. Hi

    Thanks for the like on my Galapagos Islands post.

    What you describe here is called life. What sets you apart is your ability to articulate in a very cohesive manner. As one old enough to be your father I can tell you that life has a strange way of working itself out. I can also tell you your generation is on another planet to people my age. We didn’t have 6,500 “followers” to complain to about how life is hard. We just dealt with it. Bloggers my age use social media for fun whereby you guys are so trapped by it, if the internet went away you’d all wither up and die.

    Having said that and speaking as one that thinks most blog writing is very amateurish at best, I can say you do it very well so kudos and enjoy the journey through life. Perhaps if you choose to follow our upcoming journey it will help assure you there’s a big light at the end of your tunnel;

    Rob and Diane

    1. Hi Rob and Diane,

      Great blog – I appreciate you taking the time to read mine. I am however a bit taken back in your perception of my generation and social media.

      In the generic sense, yes, social media does occupy a lot of our times. Some use it for good use, others don’t, but that’s not our call to make.

      As for you calling my blog a spot to ‘complain’, I have to resent that seeing as my blog has very possibly save my life and I like to believe it’s helped others.

      The mere truth that you have your own blog means you enjoy sharing experiences and thoughts with essentially strangers. Sharing my poetry and love for writing is no different, regardless of my age.

      Mental health has left us beneath such a thick blanket of stigma that the least I can do is stand up for those writing. I believe their voice matters whether it’s in front of 1000’s on a stage or 100’s in the corner of the Internet.

      I love hearing different perspectives and stories that start as, ‘when I was your age’ but respectfully, we know things are different. Heck, I know things are different even from when I was growing up. I look forward to reading more from your guys’ s great journey as I hope you will now see either my generation in a different light, or at least the right to use social media to ‘complain’.

      All the best!

      1. Hi

        I apologize because I didn’t mean to offend you in any way and I love your writing. I’m sure it does help others and that’s great. Obviously you know how to use social media in a positive manner.

        But I also believe in honesty, and to be frank, many people of my generation might not relate to your situation the way you might hope they would. We simply didn’t have all the opportunities you guys have now and it’s great that you take advantage of them; many I’ve seen write stories about how they don’t want to work or settle down but just want to do whatever they feel like. Simply put, nobody my age approves of that attitude because we all had to work hard without the benefits now enjoyed by today’s generation. But that does not describe you, thankfully.

        Thanks for understanding and I still look forward to following your posts and hope you continue to do the same

        Regards to you too !!

  58. From the beginning of this post, I was thinking “No, this is me. THIS IS ME.” I’m turning 24 in a week. Scared and disappointed in myself, but I know that where I am at is necessary if I am to be where I want to be in a year, or two years. I am so eager to read more of your blog. I think I could very much relate and benefit from reading of your experiences. I saw on another page of yours something about how online forums don’t really work. They don’t. I thought they would, but in some strange way they don’t allow me to express myself in ways I’ve always wanted to. I find comfort in your space, and I look forward to more time spent reading your posts. :)

    1. I’m so glad you found my blog, seeing as you’re so able to relate. It sounds like you have a great perspective already on ‘what’s meant to happen – will happen.’ i hope you’ll enjoy the rest of my posts. I look forward to hearing from you! :)

  59. I love what you’ve said here. I’m a 23 year old myself. I miss school just as badly as you have mentioned…and I have similar worries about what I’ll do, where I’ll end up. It was great reading your blog!
    I truly hope you find what you’re looking for in life! :)

    1. I’m so glad you took the time to visit my blog! It seems we’re all going through such similar yet different experiences so it’s great to find others who are willing to share their own stories. Thank you :) I hope to hear from you again.

  60. I have begun to read your posts and I look forward to reading more. I can relate to much, although I am noooooo longer twenty three. Thank you for your powerful words here. I have come back to blogging as therapy for myself and posts like yours help. Keep writing. (People love to say that, I can see the comments above, but it really really matters, to writers anyway.)

    1. Thank you so much for checking out my blog, regardless if you’re no longer 23 :) Blogging has become such a great sense of therapy and accomplishment for me, I hope it’s providing you with the same. I can never be told enough to keep writing! You’re right, as a writer it’s an incredible thing to hear. I hope you’ll keep writing as well :)

  61. Wonderful prose written with passion. Perhaps, as you search for it, it was always in front of your nose. Better said, it was always waiting for your pen to ink the page. I think you may have the beginnings of a book that would be widely read. I encourage you to ponder such a possibility. It may stir the passion within your soul and help others (most of us) who are on the same journey to find joy and happiness in a world that seems to grow ever more tumultuous.

    1. Thank you so much for the encouragement to pursue such an intimidating goal! I’m absolutely interested in seeing where my writing & blogging will take me. As well, ‘it was always waiting for your pen to ink the page.’ – I love that!

  62. I like the way you write straight from inside. It’s very powerful. The sense of confusion and ‘what now?’ can continue for years, but the flip side is that it can also breed creativity for a life that is fully lived and felt, not merely endured. I hope to visit here often.

  63. The Mom in me wants to give you a huge hug! I am 49 and have been through a lot in my life and you just keep going because sprinkled among the difficult times in life are the most amazingly wonderful, joyful moments and those moments make it all worth it!!!

  64. Very powerful and relatable. You’ve got something special! Reminds me so much of those days. Even at 23 I was a mess! I don’t think you truly start discovering who you are and what you are meant to do until your metabolism slows down and the wrinkles form. Not trying to scare ya… when those things happen… you’ll be in a much better and more secure place mentally! Advice now: invest in wrinkle cream, enjoy fast food binges, and never stop dreaming! <3 I wish someone would have told me to have a nightly skin routine ten years ago…..

    1. Fortunately, I think I’m on the right path regardless of my lack of wrinkles. I’m excited to see where the rest of my journey takes me. Thank you for taking the time to read and comment. I’ve heard the winkle cream advice before – I’ll have to take it more seriously!

  65. I feel you on the 10 page essay thing! Psych major essays are ridiculously hard. You have to follow APA formatting (always), and that never changes. Citations, citations, citations! You’re at a tough age. I look back at my 20’s and wonder why I didn’t die. (I was drunk and stoned through most of it.) Now I’m 45 and REALLY wonder how I didn’t die. But we carry on, eh? Always. I didn’t truly discover “who I am” until about 4 years ago. Life is funny, and I’m reminded of Limp Bizkit’s lyrics, “Life is a lesson- you learn it when you’re through.” So true…

    Yeah. I really did just get all philosophical using Limp Bizkit….heheh. The bottom line here is this: I have had a handful of breakdowns and understand (better than most) what it feels like to struggle through life with adverse winds of change punching you in the face. No matter what- never give up. There are so many “dean men walking” who have committed emotional suicide years before. Their hearts are gone and their souls are withered pits of despair. What good is anything if you’re merely “existing”? Whether you’re small or great- always live life to its fullest with ALL of your heart. Give your love away and plant seeds wherever you go. It’s going to hurt, sure it is. But the rewards are always greater than the sacrifices. Future trees will bear your fruit. Always believe that you have what it takes to make it; because you do. x

    1. Ah, don’t get me started on APA formatting. Horrible. We do carry on and it’s comforting to hear the way you did. I feel so fortunate for the luck I’ve been given that’s gotten me to this age so I feel like I’m almost responsible to make up for it. Thank you so much for sharing your perspective :) All the best!

  66. You’re so young but already incredibly wise. And they way you write is so authentic and easy to relate to. I can’t wait to read more of your blog.

    1. I don’t tend to feel very wise but I’m doing my best taking the lessons life’s handing me. Thank you for taking the time to say that. I hope I’ll hear from you on future posts :)

  67. Its a little scary to me to read this and every single bit of it applies to me. I am really glad I ran across your blog and am excited to read what you have to write. I have feeling we think alike.

  68. I really appreciated your description of graduation. Mine was pretty bittersweet as well, but for slightly different reasons. Due to medical issues I had to graduate earlier than I wanted to (I was so excited to be in school again and wanted that minor in creative writing…) and due to financial situations had to work too much to ever be on campus. So I was sitting in that gown and cap, in a room of people I didn’t know, being nostalgic over experiences I didn’t share, with a degree I felt was lacking, knowing I was about to exit my comfort zone and leave academia and I couldn’t face any of my family afterward. I went immediately to a bathroom stall and cried. I like to think the fear is a little bit a sign of wisdom though, and I can say years out that I’m glad I didn’t fake it, everyday it motivates me to forge my own path. Thanks for be so honest about your experience.

    1. I’m sorry to hear your graduation didn’t go as intended, or deserved. I hope all is well now. I believe it is, as those final sentences prove undeniable strength and I couldn’t agree more, wisdom can display itself through fear. It’s undeniable that the College/University system is flawed. We’re forced to spend too much time working job after job to afford an opportunity we’re missing anyways. Thank you so much for sharing. I really appreciate it. I look forward to reading your blog and learn something from you.

  69. This is so wrecked and beautiful all at the same time. I love that you are able to reflect on just how you got to where you are today. I pray and hope that sharing your thoughts with others is an eye opener as well as a healing process for you. Have things gotten any better since you wrote this story?

    1. ‘Wrecked and beautiful’ – I absolutely love that. Things have gotten even better than I could’ve imagined after writing this story and starting Young & Twenty. I’ve found so many people who can relate that it’s become impossible to ever feel alone. Thank you so much for reading and taking the time to comment :)

      1. Your welcome! and believe it or not I have actually felt this way too at a point in my life so I appreciate you coming out and talking about it. I am glad to have found your page! Looking forward to learning more.

  70. Love this! Well done! And thank you for stopping my blog too on a twenty something girl finding her way in the world!
    It’s such a fabulous decade that everyone that has passed it looks back on with longing but just wishes, WISHES, that they enjoyed it more rather than spending it thinking they should have it all figured out!
    That’s where we come in – embracing the beautiful decade full of mistakes and experiences and dreams and just stumbling our way through, one beautiful wreck at a time! x

    1. Thank you for checking out my blog! I hope you’ll keep up with your own :) That’s great advice. It truly is a great decade, I’m glad that I figured that out pretty early into it.

      ‘ just stumbling our way through, one beautiful wreck at a time! ‘ – I love this!

  71. I can absolutely relate to what you’re saying! I’m 24 right now and am very much in the same kind of world as what you describe above. Sounds like you’re dealing with it really well though! I love your blog and will definitely be stopping by again! :)

  72. I’d just like to say I wish your blog was around when I was young and twenty :-) which was like…oh 16 years ago. Back then blogs were not big so I have journals and journals of my struggles back then, lots about love found/and lost. I still read back and now I just laugh and shake my head, the 20’s were mistake-filled but thank god I had fun. But the struggle is real, I absolutely feel you on that. It took me 15 years to really find my passions (scary right?)-no let me correct that, it took me 15 years to embrace my passions, I knew what they were-I didn’t know how to bring them to life, I kept hearing the voice in my head that my passions were just hobbies. I think you may have found one of your passions-writing, and you seriously should write a novel, and young and twenty series maybe? I’d so read it. :-) Write on and I wish you many successes in life, love, and this wonderful blog.

    1. Blogs seem to have gotten popular in the past few years! I’m so glad you read my story regardless of you could completely relate. Your perspective on the twenties is great so I appreciate you sharing. Writing is truly a dominant passion in my life. I would absolutely love to write a book but I don’t know the first way to go about it – for now. If you don’t mind me asking, what did your passion turn out to be? :)

      1. My passion is to create. So I’ve always loved to write, make things or paint/draw but it took me a while to believe I had any real skill at any of it. I have a small shop now in Etsy called FancifulWish that sort of melds my love of the written word and creating. Who knew that I would love to make jewelry? But I think it’s not the ‘making jewelry’ part that is my passion, it’s making something that will make someone feel something good. My customers are struggling through something, or people who know someone fighting cancer, grieving, depression, or people that need motivation, a little piece of comfort…and that’s the most rewarding part of what I do. It’s a small shop and I’m learning a lot, and I’ve wanted to give up many times…but I haven’t yet :-). That’s why I like your blog, you words are so honest and people gravitate to that, the 20’s are a challenging age and reading your journey reminds me of when I struggled. I’ve always wanted to be a writer – I used to write a lot of stories, first one I wrote was in the 6th grade, it was a teenage romance (as if I knew what that meant! LOL) and after college I was on that path to trying to really publish a novel (secretly since I’m sure people would laugh at me) when my life took a big detour, I became a widow at 29. Just Blindsided. One day I said bye to my hubby who was sleeping in bed as I headed to work, he called me at lunch to say he loved me, and by 5pm I was rushing to the hospital living out my worse nightmare. I thought my life was over-I wanted it to be over. Later I decided I had to crawl out of the grave and back into life. I’m 36 now, remarried with a beautiful 2 year old son…so life can be hard, it can get ugly but yet there are those many oh so beautiful moments. I hope to write again someday…but for now I love to read everyone else’s writing :-) You have an awesome blog and you do a good service to others by just letting them know they are not alone. Keep writing and I wish you lots of success!!

  73. Hi, I like how you described your experience of entering into the twenties. Your writing is nice to read. Now you’ve gained a new follower in me. Have a good evening.

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