BEING Young & Twenty Submission • Molly

BEING Young & Twenty Submission

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Molly Wright
Superthfluous
Age • 24

“It would be nice if someone texted ME to hang out for a change. It would be nice if someone made the effort to come to where I LIVE to hang out for a change.”

Is it just me, or are friendships hard to maintain throughout your 20’s?

I watch the people around me, and they all seem to have the kind of friendships I’m looking for.

For me, it feels like the majority of the friendships I have require so much effort on my part. For once, I’d like to be someone else’s priority. It would be nice if someone texted ME to hang out for a change. It would be nice if someone made the effort to come to where I LIVE for a change.

To have someone think about me for a change.

That’s not to say I don’t appreciate the friendships I have, but when I’m always the one instigating a hangout, making the trip to make sure it happens, it starts to feel like wasted effort.

I’ve come to realize that when we’re “young”, friendships are easy, because of proximity (like the friends we have in school); but it feels like there’s a disconnect in your 20’s, because you’re still young, but all of a sudden you’re working at something that used to come completely natural.

What I’ve become to appreciate about BEING Young & Twenty is that the friendships I maintain now are so much more valuable; because of the effort and priority, I assign to them.

Despite what I may view as hardship with many, the close friends that I do have, who have a vested interest in my life, who put in just as much effort as I do.

They’re the ones worth having – even if the number is few.

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  • Child, and I can call you that being old enough to be your grandfather, I will let you in on a secret. Friendships are hard to maintain at any age. Especially if you and your friend are not living in the same close area.

    • I love that. Hearing things from a different perspective is truly helpful -and appreciated! Thank you so much for sharing. Molly’s aware that her post is up, so I hope she will read these supportive, follow-up comments 🙂

    • Haha, how reassuring
      I don’t doubt it… I think mostly that transition out of highschool defs makes it a bit more jarring at first!
      At least now I know what I’m up for! Ha

  • Molly,

    You’re definitely not alone in feeling the way you do regarding friendships, and like you, what I’ve come to notice is that the friends who truly care about you will make the effort to be in your life.

    I’ve learned to just let things go, and that includes people, and focus on what truly makes me happy friend or not.

    • Hi, Morgan!

      Thank you so much for reading and taking the time to comment. I couldn’t agree more and have told Molly how relateable her piece is, numerous times.

      As we grow, we see who we stay friends with out of effort (not convenience).

      “I’ve learned to just let things go, and that includes people” – love this.

    • I’m glad to know I’m not alone! It’s also like great to look back and see how things change, because I wrote this a little while ago, and the top part is what I wrote on tumblr even longer before that.
      It’s really interesting to see how things change and flourish when you stop placing so much emphasis on it and just let it be…

  • It’s not just you.

    • That’s 100% a fact.

    • *Hands raised in the air in praise emoji*

      • I wish I could say it gets better, but for me it really hasn’t… you just have to know who is and isn’t worth making a priority. But I’m sure you know that.

  • Omg! There was a group of us that use to work together. I called us “The Crew” and it was 6 of us including me and then another lady that we adopted into the crew (for a total of 7 of us). We were always getting together for any reason. Over the years things changed: people stopped working together, got married, had babies etc. I tried my hardest to keep the group together but little by little fewer ppl stayed committed. The final straw for me was a birthday party for me at my house and only 2 of the crew showed up. We all still talk and see each other occasionally but its not like it was and we all just have to be OK with it and move on. We all still love each other and when we do see each other individually or in smaller groups its all love but we just have to realize that our dynamic has changed.

    • What a perfect example of the way we fade from people, no matter how strong we once were, and too often, it’s due to how busy life can be. So glad to hear that the love still remains in “The Crew”. Thank you so much for taking the time to read and share your story.

    • Oh man, I totally feel this.
      Back in 2014 I had a circle of friends who I called my family (I live in WA on my own while the rest of my family live in Vic), and we used to all hang out on a regular basis. Now, because of life, we don’t see each other all at the same time, but we’re still great mates. Well, one of them kinda fell off the face of the planet and we don’t really know where he is, but the other 2 I see semi-regularly even if it’s just on their own.
      One of them is even my maid of honor !

      It’s not always a bad thing when dynamics change, but as long as the effort is still there to keep in contact, friendship remains!