Mental Health • Depression Is Happiness

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“Depression is not robotic. You can still express a genuine smile; you jut may cherish it more.”

Depression changes more than who you are. It changes the people around you.

Your supportive family panics.

They ask you to comfort their racing minds. They want to hear you say you’re fine and everything’s back to normal – even if they know it’s not.

Your friends don’t know you anymore.

They sigh when you pass on a night of drinking and like everyone else, they just want to pat you on the back and tell you it will blow over.

Your job is slipping from your control.

You can’t devote your hectic mind to 8 hours of concentration a day. You can’t accumulate enough vacation hours to sacrifice when the illness numbs your body and your bed holds you hostage.

You live your days in frustration and judgment.

You live misunderstood. And the days you don’t feel those feelings. The days your mind doesn’t strangle you – are the days you’re a shell. You don’t feel anything at all.

Depression is the inability to be who you are.

You want to be the one with the kind heart.

You want people to watch as you achieve big things and concur life flawlessly.

You want to wear a permanent smile and see the good in people’s eyes – not pity. It sounds so easy. Anyone could be happy if they let themselves. But it’s not that easy, and it takes losing simple happiness to understand it.

Depression is not suicidal.

It doesn’t paint purple bags beneath your eyes or leave your wrists scared with self-loath. There’s no rain cloud over your head or a mandatory all-black dress code. You don’t spend your days choking on tears with makeup stained cheeks.

Depression isn’t an Instagram caption, proclaiming sadness about a broken heel and it isn’t an opportunity to incorporate self-pity into casual conversation. Depression isn’t robotic. You can still express a genuine smile; you just may cherish it more.

Depression shows you the dark to remind you there’s light.

It knocks you down so you can learn how to stand. It opens your mind so you can survive the closed world and it makes you strong so you forget you were weak.

Depression is pushing against the wind that keeps pushing back. Its resistance hitting you cold in the face.

It’s reading your life on paper, the words resemble a script, telling the story of a character in a desirable life. It’s sitting by the water, a Caribbean drink in hand while your mood still sings like a twisted Beetles song. It’s as agonizing as a broken arm, threatening to restrict day-to-day movements.

Depression is happiness.

It’s not sadness. It’s intelligence. It’s wanting more from life. It’s wanting more from yourself. It’s wanting what you don’t have. It’s wanting what you don’t yet know.


This image was illustrated in collaboration with Lemon Chicken Por Favor

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Love & Lust • Fate Has No Patience

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“I continue to lose you as I fight an impossible battle, but as fate has promised – this will one day make sense.”

I wasn’t ready to love you when I met you.

There wasn’t anything you couldn’t said – or anything you could’ve done. You gave me the chance to have you. You gave me the opportunity to miss you. You gave me nights alone, looking at my bed, without you there.

You gave me time to decide.

Time to open my arms – but I didn’t.

I couldn’t.

We were lost. Our chance was missed. Our hands untied.

Timing is everything, and time worked against us.

I left us to fate, and fate has no patience. No hesitance. No “we’ll see how it goes.” No mercy on the love letters or the people who sign them. Fate gives you a box of tools and the hands to use them. Gives you people to love and the hands to hold them.

I continue to lose you as I fight an impossible battle, but as fate has promised – this will one day make sense. And so, I continue to look at the door and hope you’ll walk in – so we can meet, again.


This image was illustrated in collaboration with Lemon Chicken Por Favor

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Why I Quit Blogging [ Saying Goodbye Young & Twenty ! ]

Why I Quit Blogging [ Saying Goodbye Young & Twenty ! ]

I’ve decided to move on from Young & Twenty.
For awhile at least.

I’ve already moved onto a new adventure – though.

I want to find MY voice by helping you to find YOURS.

CLICK HERE
to find out why I quit blogging
and see what I’m up to now!

I would absolutely love to work with you.

*Young & Twenty will not be DELETED and
posts will continue for the next few months  –
so please continue to submit your BEING Young & Twenty pieces!*

Thank you to everyone for your support.

I hope to have the same support on my new adventure.

Please feel free to send me an email:
jennifer@youngandtwenty.com

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Love & Lust • Bonded By Time

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“You can convince yourself you can love a person again and again, but one day you’ll learn that love is never the same love the second time around.”

Rekindled love will start off as amazing. You’ll talk about the past.

The love you lost and the love you found.

You’ll laugh about the times you stayed out past curfew, and the times you outran the cops. The times you were apart for days, weeks, or months, and the reasons you always came back. You’ll hear the words that make you weak the smile that brings you comfort.

You’ll remember the first date. The first kiss. The first fight.

But eventually, you’ll remember the last date. The last kiss. The last fight.

The fight you couldn’t overcome.

The words you couldn’t forgive. The happily-ever-after you couldn’t wait to escape. It’s nice when our past comes back, and we once again feel at home; but often, you’ll quickly remember why it didn’t work out and with that, you’ll understand why it never will. You can convince yourself you can love a person again and again, but one day you’ll learn that love is never the same love the second time around.

Sometime’s we’re simply bonded by time.

By the yo-yo of memories we share with a person. We’re left with emotions we can’t run from and feelings we can’t forget and so, we stay long after love’s left because the past is comfortable and the past once made sense.

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RealTalk Poetry • “You Love Me Too, Right?”

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What is a drug?

A drug is the arms that hold you closely at night.
The soft voice that asks, “and you love me too, right?”

A drug is the ashes you flick from your smoke.
Deep inhales and exhales.
Rough stings from your toke.

A drug is that something you can’t live without.
It’s dangerous.
It’s toxic.
It keeps your love bound to doubts.

But – what is a drug?

Really.

What does it mean?

What makes one labelled “addict,”
while one’s labelled “clean”.

What is a drug and why do SOME come with shame?
Why is one ‘happy’ true, while the other’s man-made?

And so we are told,
of stories and tales,
to keep us from leaving the ‘supposed’ paved trail.

These tales made us think, “steer clear and you’ll live”.
but how’s it possible to live when we have our past to forgive?

Even love itself is a misused vice.
Simply seeking the words, “hey, I think you look nice”.

But they never told us love could ache.
And someone’s words could make us break.

Love and drugs will both bring hurt.
But forever
– the idea –
is an idea in which we flirt.


This image was illustrated in collaboration with Lemon Chicken Por Favor

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