Love & Lust • The Stigma Of Being Single

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“You continue to live as a wallflower with your emotions beside you and fear on your back.”

It’s cruel to define life as an ongoing struggle of finding someone who loves you – for you. It’s even harder when you’re ‘different’. When your weaknesses are harder to turn a blind eye to. When you don’t even love yourself. It’s the stigma of being single.

You live as a wallflower with your emotions beside you and fear on your back. You risk missing a good thing for a sure thing until one day you’re sure of yourself.

People can’t understand how you can be alone. How you can live day after day without a good morning kiss; or year after year without a Valentine date.

People can’t help but wonder – how are you okay to be alone?

When in fact, the loneliest lonely can be found in someone’s arms.


This image was illustrated in collaboration with Lemon Chicken Por Favor

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  • jefmiles

    Wow you’ve really grown, good on you for getting to nearly 7000 subscribers.. Would be very interested in finding out your methods of growth..

    Anyway onto the post :).. Completely agree that there is that stigma however never really understood why, I actually enjoy or at least am comfortable with being single.. Sure there are things I’d enjoy from being in a relationship however what’s the point if it’s not the “right” relationship :O

    Cool post!

    • Thank you so much, Jef! It’s been a great journey and I’m so excited about how much further it can go. I’ve found some unique marketing techniques that have worked in my favour. I’m completely comfortable with being single as well. I think for some people it will just take the right person. Thank you for the positive comment 🙂

  • So very true. I have met couples whose relationships were so divine I couldn’t find words to describe, and others who were so awful I didn’t want to find words to describe. Most of us are seeking love in all the wrong places, hoping to be center of attention of our significant other. Yet, true love is found within. How well do you love yourself? How often to do you give yourself a compliment instead of insulting yourself? Do you treat yourself as you would treat your dog, cat or best friend (I find we generally treat our companion animals better than our friends, and certainly much much better than we treat ourselves)? The irony, so to speak, as that once you learn to love yourself you become so much more attractive to everyone else. I’d also like to remind everyone that you are loved simply because you are!
    Jean-Pierre

    • Glad you can agree, Jean-Pierre 🙂 It’s safe so say some people enjoy companionship whereas others are more comfortable being on their own. As fine as that is, it’s simply time for it to be accepted. ‘Once you learn to love yourself you become so much more attractive to everyone else.’ I could not agree with this more! Perfection.

  • Could not be more true. And when you are single… you have the ability to love truer, deeper and wider than any other time because you do so without the expectation of reciprocation. As you love others in an unattached capacity, you will surely learn to better love yourself, accept your faults and find forgiveness for your flaws, as you love past the flaws in others. Being single is not an affliction, it is a tremendous opportunity to grow within and without of yourself.

    • I’m so glad you agree! Great comment. You can have a deep mindset, and be a person other that ‘unstable’ and all of the usual claims that go along with those who are single. Your last line is perfect!

      “Being single is not an affliction, it is a tremendous opportunity to grow within and without of yourself.”

  • soireadthisbooktoday

    Apoeticl has it in the first two lines. You don’t have to tie yourself to a single person to be filled with love… loving yourself, being happy with yourself, being at peace with yourself, allows you to love others without shadow. Love, Leiah

    • I was going to highlight a line from your comment but it’s all perfect. Thank you so much for sharing, I completely agree. We all find love in different forms. Some do that alone. Some do that with others.

      • soireadthisbooktoday

        Alone worked for me all these years… the only bad times I have had in my life have been attached to trying to change myself to meet others requirements. . .

        • I love that! I believe I could say the same about my own life. It’s amazing what a relief it is after having these realizations 🙂

  • Your final paragraph says it all. A terrific post, Jennifer.

  • Agree with the above… the final paragraph speaks so much truth.

    • Thank you for reading! 🙂 I’m so glad you agree, as well.

  • jcolemarrow

    Yes this is so true, I feel like there is so much pressure to “be” with someone. People end up staying in relationships they don’t even want to be in just because they thinks it’s better than being alone

    • I’m so glad you agree. There’s completely pressure to be in a relationship or looking for one. Different people, different situations I suppose but I wish more people were comfortable being alone.

  • I loved being single, and as I now stand on the cusp of loosing my single status I’m worried about loosing the person I was, the strong me I was, when I was alone!

    • Being single’s great! It’s truly a way to find your true strength and prepare for in time, when you do fall in love. I’m so glad to hear that you agree 🙂