Understanding Life • We Used To Want To Go Back

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“No morning is the same. We live free of any promises, and we’re not even sure that we know what love is.”

We used to want to go back to Kindergarten.

To be woken with soft kisses and encouraged with kind words. We were promised a happily ever after, and love was no more than holding our parent’s hand at the doctors. Life was as crisp as the sound of scissors cutting through construction paper.

We used to want to go back to Elementary School.

To wake each day with excitement for Recess and the latest game we ached to win. We were promised carefree laughter, and love was no more than waking up in time for our Saturday Morning Cartoons. Life was an adventure. Each day knowing a little more than the day before.

We used to want to go back to Middle School.

To wake up to phone calls from best friends, and discuss outfits between rumors and jokes. We were promised ‘friends forever’ and love was no more than that person we would look upon, as we danced on the gymnasium wall. Life and the people in it were as temporary as our failing marks at mid-semester.

We used to want to go back to High School.

To cringe as we woke up to our alarm clock, reminding us of the many things and the many people that awaited us. We were promised endless opportunities, and love was no more than the thrill of losing innocence. Life was made up of our habits. The people we loved to see Friday nights, and the ones we dreaded seeing Monday mornings.

We used to want to go back to College.

To be woken by the afternoon sun, and a hallway filled with laughter and the lingering scent of beer. We were promised full-filled dreams, and love was no more than drunk nights; the times sparks only lasted a night. Life was pub’s and vices. Searching to find something that would help keep us sane.

Now, we’re Post-Grad’s.

No morning is the same.

We live free of any promise and we’re not even sure that we know what love is.

We used to want to go back. Now we don’t know what we want.


This image was illustrated in collaboration with Lemon Chicken Por Favor

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  • That was a great post, and so true! My husband is younger than me and still talks about high school, but I wouldn’t want to go back at all. Right now is right where I want to be.

    • Thanks so much, Alex! The more I grow, the more I sympathize for people who are so in love with their high school days. The best days of your life can’t have possibly already happened, so I’m in 100% agreeance with you. Right now is right where i want to be, too 🙂

  • The more the past recedes, the better it seems everything was then. Interesting post.

    • Thanks so much, Lori; and what a great additional point! I’ve read that depression is living in the past, and I think it’s safe to say that’s true. We must always look ahead and keep going. I hope [but I’m sure] you’ve realized that too 🙂

  • John Thomasino

    I was reading this as I Iistened to Spanish Boots of Spanish Leather by Bob Dylan and it was very sentimental. The simplicity of the imagery in each memory is crystal clear. A lot of my friends feel this way, we know we want to go forward but everything behind us is so tantalizing even though at the time it was rife with difficulty.

    • I’m going to listen to that exact same song and re-read this post. I’m sure it won’t give me the same sense of sentiment, but what a compliment. I used to always look back. Regretting the opportunities I never took and dwelling on the mistakes I made. It’s amazing the way we can change, and grow, and finally see the way the future is more exciting than anything we left behind. I feel you agree.

      “The simplicity of the imagery in each memory is crystal clear.”
      What a wonderful line.

      Thank you so much for sharing, John!